Sensual For You - My Poly Dream

Hi everyone,

I've shortened what I'm seeking so it is easier for you to read, but I still highly recommend you print everything off, as our brains retain the information more when we read in print vs. reading from the monitor.

If you haven't already read what my definition of polyamory is, please please read my pages FIRST.

Saying that, I'm the type of person that doesn't HAVE to be in a polyamorous relationship. I'm quite content being a polyamorous woman in a mono relationship because I'm in no rush to add people into my life if it isn't the right time, they aren't the right person, etc.

For me one of the most important factors of polyamory is the feeling of freedom & openness.

The understanding that you don't own me, & I don't own you, but we are committed to one another.

The understanding that even if someone else were to come along with whom I resonate with, that doesn't mean I would leave you & vice versa.

So for people who are running around trying to find 2, 3 & 4 partners because they are in love with the idea of polyamory, or they are addicted to that NRE feeling that gives the brain a rush like a drug when you meet someone new & are infatuated with them, we probably aren't compatible.I'm not doing this to get a rush, I'm polyamorous because that's who I am as a person.

Assuming we are compatible, I would cherish you just as much if we are in a relationship with just the 2 of us, or there's more of us..

Saying that, I still need you to read my poly definitions page, because I don't want any confusion, you getting upset because you think polyamory is about cheating when nothing could be further from the truth, or me finding out you are really a polysexual or swinger & I'm sorry, I don't wish to befriend any polysexuals or swingers, I'm into relationships, not just sex.

As I mentioned on my first page, I'm only seeking platonic friends right now.

If you HAVE to have an intimate relationship & friendship isn't part of your equasion, we are clearly not compatible.

I'm only seeking people who respect people as human beings & aren't constantly thinking about sex, sex & more sex.

While I'm a very sensual person when the time is right, I've learned through spirituality & self respect, that I care more about the person & who he/she is, then whether I'm going to make love to them.

Only if the friendship progresses past a platonic stage would I have any expectations of being sensual & neither you nor I will know that until time progresses.

I have changed over the years, I used to use sex as a means to connect & I didn't understand how I was harming myself.

Now being a lot wiser, I realize that making love (not sex) is somthing to be charished & embraced. I have to respect & really enjoy the person's personality & character first before I can even consider being even remotely sensual and intimate.

So while the character traits I'm seeking in a platonic friend are very similar to what I would seek in an intimate partner, here's my basic needs in friend and/or intimate partner. Just take out the romantic/intimate parts for a friend LOL Also, this is who I am as a person, which is why I look for people like myself even though we all have different traits.

First, I'm flexible in relocating.

I'm kind of had enough of Toronto even though I love all that the city has to offer, I have noticed that I don't really resonate with Torontonians. Guess what, I finally LEFT TORONTO. Yippie, my intuition was right on (as always), people in Toronto & the surounding areas (even in Mississauga & Brampton), are (in my opinion) friendly at all. They are very distrusting & introverted & the only way I was able to be 100% sure, was to move somewhere else where people are much friendlier.

Windsor is that place! People are lovely out here.

Now back to the type of person I'm seeking.

I want people who have substance and depth to them. People who don't need to get drunk to have a good time. People who are friendly,& very intelligent & don't live in fear or angst.

I truly resonate with the European way of life. I've always wanted that easier way of living and enjoying life.

Don't get me wrong, I am entrepreneur (now a netrepreneur) through & through & I love money & want to make TONS of it, but there needs to be balance in my life, balance to enjoy life, take it much more slowly.

So, what I'm saying to my compatible partner, depending on where you live, I am willing to relocate, but I also hope if we do move forward, that you are also willing to do the same once we reach that point which could be 4 months away, 6 months away, or 1 year away. I don't have a time line, I liver every day in the moment.
I seek either a man, a woman or a couple (M/F or M/M). I guess I could consider a F/F couple, but given that I haven't even had a real loving relationship with a woman yet, I'd rather leave that one out.

Once again, I never say never, remember, I'm a very very open minded person.

I do resonate a lot with men (2 together), & I have no problem with me who are biamorous, so if you are a man who loves other men & women & has no problem being in a relationship with either, give me a shout.

I prefer women who are biamorous, love their biness, & have moved on from being bisexual, to being able to love & be in a real relationship with a woman just as much as they can with a man.

I generally don't relate to lesbians, but if a really secure feminine lesbian woman were to come along who is loving, independent, loves men even if she never wants to be intimate with them, is ambitious & exciting, yet loves the family dynamics, I would once again be open.

I only seek feminine women in almost every way, which includes her voice, walk, looks & mannerisms.

With men I don't like men who have facial hair, so clean shaven please.

I am not attracted to too skinny, or very very overweight people & looks are subjective, so that always remains to be seen.
As you may have already read, I'm a spiritually conscious (don't believe in religion) woman.

Since 1992 I've been learning more & more about who I am as a person, how to deal with my issues, how to become more positive, how to respect & love myself, & more.

My journey has been wonderful, & that includes all the negative & positive experiences.

Since 2005 I've been learning about energy - no, nothing to do with Reiki.

This has lead me to learn more & more about our vibrations which I learned from the Hick's Abraham series. I am still studying the Hicks-Abraham series, & it has really elevated me to such a level, that at one point out of 7 days of the week, I was happy pretty much 90% of the time. That fluctuated as things got really really stressful as I was moving around a lot, & now July 15, 2008, I'm working on finding more happiness & working on creating my reality.

At this point I've gotten to such a level, I know it will be hard for me to be with someone who isn't very close to my level. So, here's what I want in a mate...

a) someone who has been studying spiritual growth & has worked on their issues for min. 3-4 years., hopefully almost as many years as I've been studying & working, but I understand if you started later in life. Someone who totally gets they can create their own reality even if they still find it challenging at times like I do.
b) someone who stopped calling themselves names ages ago (the odd time I let one slip, usually in front of people), & doesn't beat themselves up if they get angry, feels jealousy, feels grief etc.
Saying that, I don't believe you need to be happy 24/7 & if you aren't, you aren't spiritual. That to me is cultish & NOT what spirituality is all about. The way you feel is okay because they are YOUR feelings.

While I don't want to hang with someone who's upset 24/7, I get angry several times, & I am happy many times. I don't force myself to feel something that isn't natural, & I believe learning about my feelings is key to understanding myself.

In all the years I've been learning, not one book I've ever read or course I've ever taken has ever taught me that our feelings should be ignored, resisted, or we should be ashamed of who we are.

Unfortunately I've come across so many so called spiritually conscious people who believe all of this BS, & then run away out of fear from people who have anger, stress, grief, worry, etc.

I am looking for partners who have no issue with these feeling because they agree they are part of who we are.

What I have learned, is to move past those feelings that may consume me AND, I've noticed that I tend to drop the feelings very quickly, so I can get angry at someone who treats me like shit, but then 5 minutes later I'm happy & laughing.

Yes, I am still working on not allowing other people's energy & vibrations to consume me. I've been a very sensitive spirit my entire human life (this time around) & that's one of the reasons I sometimes feel out of control, but I'm aware I need to work on this & will continue to do so.

I want potential partners who have been around the spiritual block many many times & by now what you have learned has sunk in.

It all started with spiritual growth for me & while I may be able to find someone who has the attributes I seek below without them being spiritual conscious, it just won't be the same thing.

I want to connect with you on such a level that you understand me intuitively, & vice versa & we feel like equals. To be clear, I don't need you to complete me, I'm perfectly happy being single & I want a partner who is also perfectly happy being single.

Stating that, I feel one of the ways we grow is by being in a relationship, because it's a lot easier to be alone & be happy, then have to deal with someone else's "stuff" & still feel happy.

On that note, I have to clarify that I'm usually a very balanced person for the most part & seek someone else who is as well.

I'm also a very logical person & I wish to bring to me people who can also use their left brain and have common sense. I'm looking for someone who has balance between using their left brain, right brain & spiritual intuitive self. I learned a while ago that I'm seeking intuively intelligent people.
Communication - is soooo crucial. I try to work on this a lot.

Talking

I am very honest & down to earth & look for others who are also very honest and open.

They are first able to recognize what their truth is & how they are feeling, & then relay it to others.

Everyone lives with some fears, (me included), but I believe that healthy open communication is an absolute MUST, & if you have to lie in order to feel safe, then we aren't on the same level spiritually.

If you build up walls around your heart chakra & throat chakra that prevent you from opening up, I feel this a sign that needs addressing & hey, if you are working on it proactively, then great, I would love to hear from you.

I'm not asking for perfection, because I'm not perfect, but I do want people who understand what I'm talking about & are proactively working on their stuff.

If you want me to be perfect all the time with no arguments or drama (as you people call it), then I'm not interested in someone who expects perfection & we both know you aren't perfect no matter how much you pretend to be.

My belief is that people in a relationship should have a healthy flow min. 75% of the time & the other 25% of the time is left for arguments that get resolved, & me working on my issues, you on your issues, & us on our issues together. I believe the more compatible people are, the less aggression there will be.

That aggression can be active or passive, but it's still aggression.

Just because you don't yell doesn't mean you aren't being controlling, I've come across many controlling people who love to ignore & pretend everything is alright, or they cheat & run away.

That's their way of controlling & is just a different way to be aggressive. In fact I find it to be more damaging than the person who raises their voice, but at least vocalizes how they are feeling.

I'm looking for people who can open up & talk - even if it takes a day, then 20 hrs., then 12 hrs., then 8 hrs., all the way down to letting me know how you feel right when you are feeling it.

I will always try to do the same.

Listening

A huge part of communication is of course listening. It always amazes me how most people think communicating is just talking. I resonate most with people who have a good memory, therefore I'm asking the Universe to bring me people who have a good memory.
Above average relationship skills - you are the type of person who respects your relationships very much.

You don't just say this, you take a proactive role in doing this, both privately dealing with your own issues & communicating this to the Universe, & together with your partner, with any kids, etc.

You are the type of person who loves to learn & even though you love learning about growth, you are at this point where you also just want to "BE".

While I still love to learn, I'm more in a place of contentment & am just loving living life.

I'm looking for partners who value their career or business for sure, but they value their relationships equally, if not more.

As much as I love being an entrepreneur, I learned a long time ago that money doesn't make me happy & if I'm working too much, that usually means I'm hiding from something that is bothering me.

Yes, work can be an addiction.

Yes I like nice things that money can buy, & yes I feel making money is part of being prosperous, but I believe strongly in balance.

I'm looking for partners who love money, but want to find passive ways to make money so we can spend time together concentrating on what is most important... relationships, family, friends & connecting to ourselves.
Organized & clean - while I'm not a clean freak or go overboard with organization, I want someone who is relatively t well kept & has respect for keeping their home relatively neat & tidy (even if you have to hire a cleaning lady).

I believe that how we keep our home & ourselves is a direct reflection on how we are feeling inside. If we don't pick up after ourselves & there is a mess everywhere, we feel disorganized & messy inside & it comes out in our home.

So Universe, please bring me someone who is relatively organized inside & they love & respect their home as well.
Balance - I believe 1000% in balance. Not being obsessive one way or another. Someone balanced is a healthier person in my opinion.
Excitement & Fun - this is an absolute must for me, Universe please bring me someone who loves to have fun.

Everyone has their own opinion about what FUN means. For me, I don't like sitting at home all the time, but I can do the sitting around thing when I'm alone.

With my partner(s) I want to go out & do things, try new restaurants, see new people, travel, learn things together & also spend time alone at home, so I don't consider myself to be a party animal.

I'm looking for a partner who takes an equal role in initiating outside activities AND, will do the planning 50% of the time.

I am looking for someone who is creative, has an imagination & really cares about life.
Romantic - no, I'm not a sap LOL. I am not into frilly things (more of a modern, chic type of person), not into cartoons, video games (although as an outing once in a while could be fun), not into stuffed animals (I grew up ages ago) etc., but I do feel that being romantic is an internal thing. You either feel it or you don't & that goes for both men & women.
I believe it's the small things that matter & show whether a person is really thinking of the other person. How creative they are & how much effort they make in keeping that romance alive is important, so I'm looking for a partner that takes a proactive role in keeping the relationship active, exciting & romantic.

I'm currently working on developing my imaginative side of me like I had when I was a young girl. This is part & parcel of creating your own reality, so it's very very important.

I want the creating, & I want to continue to dream & make my dreams become part of my reality.
Health - Please NO SMOKERS of any kind. I quit & I never ever wish to go back to that.

I take health very seriously. I know a lot about alternative health, food, etc., so I'm looking for partners who care about organic, know the difference between fake organic & real organic, you tend to read the ingredients most of the time, & you know the difference between really healthy foods, & the stuff the media is peddling as the "New Age" becomes more mainstream.

I am a part time vegetarian & I love all different ethnic foods except for E. Indian, Pakistanian or anything else that is extremely spicy overall, so although going out to restaurants isn't great because you never know what they are cooking with, I can't help myself being a foodie & yes, the quality & taste of food is very important to me I have a sensitive palette, & gotta love to HATE Ramsey LOL

Back to health... After reading Hick's book, it's finally sunk in that yes, I am in control of my body, & I WILL heal myself as my body knows how. So, I've been working on that for the last couple of years now.
Sense of humour - yes, I have that sarcastic intelligent sense of humour that I've toned down over the years, but it's still there

For me a sense of humour is crucial to a great relationship with me. I don't want to be laughing 24/7 & I don't like using humour to hide behind (we all do it), but me feeling someone is really funny is a great feeling, so Universe, please send me someone who makes me laugh
You don't have issues with kids - while I don't like annoying kids who are out of control, I am seeking people who can relate to kids & can bond with them eventually. I have a 16 y/o son & while we have our issues I'm trying to get resolved, nothing pains me more than a partner who ignores the kids & wants them out of the way.

While I can't wait for him to leave the house, I still love him dearly.
Time Alone - I believe in having time away from both my son & my partner(s) to have alone time. I believe this is 100% crucial to living life. For me it's back to balance again. Time with my partners, time with my son, time working & time by myself.

I am looking for a partner who feels the same way.
Honesty - even if it's difficult, I will eventually tell you how I feel. I may not be the most diplomatic person you have ever met, but I won't lie to you. This also means I will communicate with you & not just run away (that means even if I have to leave the room for 20-30 minutes, I never go for long, I may just need time to cool down).

I hope you can always tell me anything & not feel like you are being judged. If at some point you feel that way, that means we need to work on why I'm communicating that to you, or why you are suddenly feeling that emotion.
Someone who works things out - this is very important as I no longer hold grudges. Working things out is my first priority. If after a while the same issues keep cropping up, then it's time to see reality for what it is, things may never change, because I can't change you, & you can't change me.
Friendship - I'm just loyal by nature. As I have already mentioned, I take my friendships just as seriously as my intimate partnerships & while I know that intimate partnerships generally require more work & time then platonic friendships, I get irked when people think friendships should not be worked on either. It's a relationship. Just because we aren't being intimate doens't mean it's not an ongoing relationship.

I don't make promises on how long an intimate relationship will last because I can't foresee the future & neither can you. I hope our relationships last a long time, but I don't believe in fairy tales, & "till death do us part". Saying that, I'm not looking for someone who is only into short term relationships & is a serial monogamist.

If we are to separate, I hope we can eventually go back to being friends. I feel relationships should never be cut off at the limbs.
Sexuality - you know the difference between sex & making love & you enjoy the latter, as it's natural for you. You are a sensual person who takes your sexuality seriously, as it's part of your spiritual makeup. You respect your sexuality. You consider yourself to be above average in your love making skills & you are passionate, but you don't have to be wild ALL the time, yet the animal in you can come out as you still connect to its roots.

Most importantly, you understand that if the relationship isn't working outside the bedroom, it won't work inside the bedroom. I'm not into pretending that everything is peachy when it's not & I won't have sex with someone just because they want me to when I'm not in the mood!

So Universe, I'm looking for someone who is free of most of their sexual dysfunctionalities & respects not only their sexual essence, but a woman's sexual essence as well. Someone who takes things in stride & lives free of expectation.
I'm seeking someone who mainly lives in the NOW, not in the past or in the future. I acknowledge the past & learn from it, but I no longer dwell on it.

I want to live in the Now & set goals (my wants) for the future.

So after reading this you feel we have a lot in common, please e-mail me the my keywords "I would like to start off as friends with no expectations" & tell me why you think we are compatible.

We will talk on the phone (I can call you first) to see if we resonate together.

Thanks a ton for reading my profile & I wish everyone all the best

Michelle

Quote

End your day by privately looking directly into your eyes in the mirror and saying, 'I love you!' Do this for thirty days and watch how you transform.
— Mark Victor Hansen

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Last updated 10-Oct-11