One thing I learned over the years was to write up a personal web site.In fact the one place where I find the most personal web sites is in the polyamorous community.In the beginning of my site explaining what I feel poly is all about, I talked about how one can tell whether a person is a swinger/polysexual & how a person is a true poly.My best advise is to pretend you are looking for someone perfect for you to marry. Would you even consider talking to someone about sex in the first, second or third e-mail until you got to know them as a person? Ask yourself whether they are treating you as a person & see if they care only about sex & your physical characteristics first or they want to know the REAL you. I get everyone to read my personal essays on my web site. You don't know how many people I've gotten rid of because they are too lazy to read what I am seeking.Dating & relationships take effort.Unfortunately most people feel it should be easy & those are the type of people I watch out for. I'm not saying that it should be hard work all the time, because if two people are incompatible, it will definitely seem like hard work, but that is why seeking compatible people is the key in my opinion. People who don't have the time to read what you have to say generally won't have time for you period. If they are too busy that week, they can always bookmark it & read it the next week.Making an effort shows me a person is interested & serious & even though that isn't always the case, at least it's a start. I believe there should be no rush in getting to know a person a bit on line before talking on the phone. One thing I learned is that if a person or couple doesn't wish to talk on the phone after a week, max. two, than they are either stringing you along, or just aren't emotionally ready to be poly. I learned that the hard way after talking to a couple for almost a moth before I became smart & realized they were never going to talk on the phone with me. If they tell you you are rushing things, than you should know they are not ready themselves & that's a BIG warning sign.I don't feel rushing is a good thing, but talking on the phone & meeting is not getting married tomorrow. LOL! Remember, you want someone who is open minded, willing, yet not rude, crude & respects you & feels there should be equality amongst everyone in a poly relationship.

I don't consider myself a lady as I'm not the stuffy prim & proper type & yes I do occasionally swear, but when I certainly don't use words like… tits, fuck, get laid, cunt, boobs, dick, cock etc.?

I know this is the way most people talk nowadays, but I respect myself & my sexuality too much to hang around with people who are so crude & vulgar.

I don't find my sexuality nor anyone else's to be naughty, bad, whorish, slutish etc. & I feel that anyone who feels this way even if they are using this in jest, has some sexual issues they need to address.

The odd time I still go to my previous swinger's club to dance because I like the music there, but ever since I became poly, it's become increasingly harder for me to go there.The grouping of strangers & the teasing & people walking away plus the crude talk just turns me right off.They say they make good friends that are swingers & that may be so in some cases, but I bet that if a person or couples stops swinging with their so called "friends", that their friends soon disappear.One day I hope to have enough people gathered together where I can start my own polyamorous club right here in the Toronto area.As one Hawaiian polyamory website puts it: "Polyamory is to swinging as falling in love (monogamously) is to a one-night stand."

Swinging can also be dangerous as can being in a polyamorous relationship.I knew of one female that started allowing all these swingers into her home.Turns out one of the guys she was having sex with was married & the wife was starting to find out. Then another fellow female swinger got jealous because he was spending less time with her & she started giving out the female's phone number to a lot of people.Being poly isn't quite as dramatic mostly because poly people aren't as immature.Not that there aren't some, but you can't be that immature & negative & have a healthy poly relationship.It just wouldn't work out that way.What people do have to be concerned about is the government & the closed minded schools that are all so paranoid about how children are being raised because of all the child abusers out there.Actually when it comes to poly parents, they are way more concerned about how to raise their children than any other type of parent that I know of.Most poly parents homeschool their kids.I'm not here to scare anyone, but I do want to be open.Also I feel the more poly people there are, the better chance we have to fight the government controlling our lives.In the States one woman mother tried to take away her children.The poly community banned together & raised money for her legal fund.Turns out in the end the woman had more issues than just being poly & this is why the mother was trying to take her grandchildren from her daughter.I just hope that when a real stable poly person has these problems the poly community will back them.Ok I'm finally finished LOL! If you want to read what kind of poly relationship I'm seeking, my personal essay is listed on the right hand menu.The first page is the homepage (main page) & every other page after that follows one another.


The entire Universe is set up to produce wanting within you! You cannot squelch wanting. You are born wanters. Wanting is a good thing. Write that down in big letters: WANTING IS A VERY GOOD THING!


If you find any errors, bugs, typos etc., please contact me giving me the URL of the page plus copying the paragraph where the error is.

Thank you so much for letting me know.

Last updated 28-Jul-08